Sarah's story
Hi my name is Sarah and my partner and I suffered with infertility…
I say “suffered” because that’s how it felt. A consultant at the clinic we had treatment at described infertility as “a disease and diseases are there to be treated”.
We were lucky I guess, we have a little boy following the treatment, for many others the battles continue and become life consuming.
Anyone experiencing infertility will have gone through years of disappointment, anguish - despair even.
For those fortunate never to experience the pains of infertility including my own family and friends, they can never truly understand the feelings felt by so many people longing to become parents.
I used to get upset, angry even at the comments made - “just relax“, “don’t worry it’ll happen when you least expect it”, “you have got plenty of time yet” --- well no, sometimes it does not just happen, sometimes you haven’t got plenty of time, sometimes you just want a baby, sometimes you need medical intervention to help you achieve the miracle of parenthood.
I look back now at my journey and think how can I put into context what the 8 years of trying to conceive was like?
From the monthly disappointment of the dreaded period arriving, starting on the IVF treadmill, from test after test coming back “clear” and constantly wondering “am I not meant to be a Mummy”, going from a fear of needles to willingly stabbing myself in the tummy, suffering headaches, sweats, pains in the abdomen in the hope of that illusive magical positive pregnancy test!
First treatment for us I was convinced would work - well why wouldn’t it? Nothing was found on any tests for me or my partner. My mum had three daughters, my sister has a son and daughter - so why can’t I, what’s wrong with me???? Besides what is “unexplained infertility” how can it be unexplained?
I wanted answers, I especially wanted answers when my period arrived early
During the follow up appointment my partner and consultant discussed the fact it was like a penalty shoot out - the first attempt misses but the second or third attempt may score! Talking about football when our whole world had fallen apart! MEN!!!
Second attempt - well I was more casual, almost convincing myself it wouldn’t work, looking back I guess I was trying to prevent the hurt and upset if it didn’t work again.
During the two week wait I started looking at our options mainly regarding the adoption process, as I say, convinced it would fail again…
Then, the moment of truth, peeing on a stick time! I hadn’t started bleeding …. Could it be???? Was it possible???? YES! There it was my first ever Positive Pregnancy Test, seeing that line was like a dream come true, reading the instructions several times again to make sure I hadn’t read the result wrong or pee’d on the stick wrong!
Two years on and I still have the three pee sticks as keepsakes!
We have a beautiful little boy, he turned two at the beginning of April…. He’s our world…
The pains of fertility struggles seem a distant memory, somehow less painful now we have someone to call us “Mummy and Daddy” someone to leave muddy footprints on the floor, someone to kiss goodnight to and read a bedtime story to, someone to love unconditionally, someone to worry over and someone who made our dreams come true, all thanks to the Liverpool Womens Hospital... To them we will be eternally grateful
So onto parenthood, onto the challenges and rewards that title of “Mummy” brings…
