Sleep is for Wimps!
When I was pregnant, particularly towards the end of the pregnancy, virtually everyone I spoke to had advice of some description, none more so than about sleep...
Sleep now whilst you can
Babies spend more time sleeping than being awake
You sleep when baby sleeps
Any of the above sound familiar?
Well, they were right about one thing, we should have slept more whilst we could! Daniel was born at 2:38am and sleep was not on the agenda from day one.
The Problem
He would sleep okay during the day, in his moses basket or in his "frog like" position on Paul or I, but it was the night time that we soon began to dread. He would have his breast feed at 10pm ish and then wake again around 12:30am and that was it, the bewitching hours began... He just would not settle and go back to sleep, much preferring to stay awake!
What we tried
Nothing would settle him, I would breastfeed him and although he would fall asleep whilst feeding he would wake again as soon as we tried to put him down in his moses basket, it was like a switch, start to put him down and the crying began and didn't stop.
We tried all sorts to try and get him back to sleep,
another feed in case he was still hungry (so difficult to know how much milk a breast fed baby has had),
we tried swaddling,
we tried putting a top of mine in his moses basket for him lie on, then one of Pauls!,
we tried rocking him,
we tried infacol incase he had windy problem,
just endless unfruitful attempts at getting a baby who seemed determined not to sleep to get to sleep.
I remember Pauls shoulder being one of the successes, he would hold Daniel and pace around the house singing to him - I have to say I did fall asleep out of exhaustion a few times when Paul was on one of his ventures around the house on more than one occasion - but don't tell him that!
It got harder when Paul went back to work and obviously it was so important he got some sleep through the night, so I would do the pacing whilst he went to sleep in the spare room to try and get some shut eye.
Exhaustion
I do remember one night, sitting on the bed, holding Daniel and just crying... Pure exhaustion, its amazing how lack of sleep can make you so much more emotional than normal. I remember loving the day time, a gorgeous little baby bear to keep us smiling and entertained, but as soon as night time approached that dread would start, for us, it really was the hardest part of parenting.
Help!
I went to the doctors because we were worried Daniel was poorly, thankfully he was given a clean bill of health. When I explained to the doctor the sleep issues, he laughed and said "Welcome to Parenthood" ... I went to see the Health Visitor, again explaining the sleep - well lack of sleep - we were getting and again was pretty much told to "get on with it"... I remember being disappointed at the lack of support from the professionals ---- I was lucky, I had my "wikimums" to fall back on for support, the moral boosting and understanding they gave me was invaluable. I do feel for mummies and daddies who go the sleep deprivation, its hard, damn hard.
Solution
How long did it continue???? Months and months... Probably around the 9 month mark it started improving - what did we do to improve things, I started co-sleeping with Daniel and straight away it helped. Whether it was the close contact he needed or whether it was just "one of those things" who knows? I guess we'll never know, we were just delighted to finally start getting some much needed sleep!
Even now at 2 years old he doesn't consistently sleep through, but it is soooooo much better - you kind of forget how awful it was at the start. The lack of sleep, the exhaustion.... Would I have another baby and risk losing our sleep again? You betcha I would! It may be hell on earth whilst its happening, but it doesn't last forever, that's the beauty of our little kiddiewinkles. they develop so quickly the next stage is never far away....
Useful links... So here's the NHS website which I hope may help you if you have a baby like Daniel who doesn't sleep!
