Mrsmoxy's story
Nothing in my life has ever been straight forward and I would often joke with friends about how you could write a soap opera about it, so it came as no huge surprise that achieving my dreams of becoming a mummy would also not be plain sailing.
When I met my husband I was 26 and loving life, it was the first time in a while that I was putting me first and men were off the radar, however he had other ideas and he melted my heart. Even after a few weeks when he mentioned that he had had a vasectomy a few years previous due to being then happily married with two children did not put me off, what's life without a challenge??
Fast forward two years and we paid to have the vasectomy reversed, a procedure that brought tears to my eyes when I saw the extensive black and blue bruising, but pushing that to the back of my mind I remember lovingly reassuring him that it will all be worth it. The reversal was deemed a success and we excitedly started our baby making journey.
One year later, and still no pregnancy, we went back to our GP. We were referred to a fertility clinic where further tests showed that there were anti sperm antibodies present in the sperm sample and that conceiving naturally would be very difficult. So in January 2009 we embarked on our ICSI journey at Hammersmith Hospital.
I remember feeling excited during our first cycle, but tried to remain realistic about it at the same time. Sadly our first cycle ended in a BFN, nothing could have prepared me for that feeling of failure. I think that this was the first time I'd realised what was going on and that maybe I won't ever be a mummy. Onwards and upwards and not being one to dwell on things we picked ourselves up and embarked on round two a few months later. Amazingly, two years after the reversal, we did it - we got our first BFP and not only that, we had bagged our whole family in one go when our 6 week scan confirmed a triplet pregnancy.
The next few weeks and months passed in a blur of excitement and realisation of what was about to happen. Unfortunately though this was not the end of our ICSI journey. At just under 22 weeks pregnant I was admitted to hospital with abdominal pain. Despite the best efforts by all the medical staff involved they could not prevent the premature delivery of our beautiful daughters, born too soon for this world.
During the following months we did our best to move forward, and after a lot of soul searching we decided to have one more go. I felt that for me this was the only way I could move on. So 6 months after we lost our precious girls we started again and after what felt like the longest month of my life we got a BFP.
Today I am the very proud mummy of a very, very cheeky 2 year old little girl. She pushes me to my limits and melts my heart all in one go and despite everything we have been through along the way I count myself as one of the lucky ones.
Thank you for reading and I wish you all the very best of luck with your journeys to motherhood.
